The Suffering of Reacting to Others’ Beliefs
Recognizing the diversity of human experiences, cultivating the right intention are key to overcome the suffering.
Photo by Mariam Magsi on Unsplash
Unfortunately, many of us have to live in perpetual mental conflicts owing to the constricting belief system, lifestyle, and thoughts of those around us. The mind reacts with anger, irritation, frustration, and restlessness to the limiting and unmindful thoughts, speech and actions of others.
They lose a sense of belongingness within the community. Slowly, they find it pointless to engage or communicate with anyone, as it becomes difficult for them to establish a common ground. Even if they do sometimes, it usually ends up in giving advice, which often instigates anger.
Once their preferred mode of living, the unmindful habits of self-gratification and narrow thinking of friends, family, and community members begin to suffocate them. Avoiding people and escaping everyone’s drama becomes their natural tendency.
Wishing desperately for a magical day when everyone has become free from rigid mentality, and until then, escaping into the magnificent Himalayan mountains or any beautiful distant place where they don’t have to face more stupidity becomes their most sought-after choice.
But bound by responsibilities, they get torn between what they want and what they wish. They have kindness and compassion that morally guides them to be there for those who need.
But the fight between the grounding force of compassion and the ejecting force of aversion is an extremely overwhelming show that drains them and makes them suffer immensely.
The Right View
However, broad may be the thinking, believing that your thoughts and lifestyle are the only correct ways, as opposed to others, is still a limited belief. It is the mind’s trick in letting you believe that your thoughts are unlimited, whereas others’ are limited.
No matter how broad it may be, no thought can be limitless. Every thought is born out of some condition, and whatever is born has to be conditional. Your thought may be more mindful in certain aspects, but when seen from another perspective, it would appear unmindful.
Losing the grip of your mind’s strong conviction that its views and contents are the best, and that others’ actions are mindless, is an incorrect view. Whatever you have gathered from your experiences may be the best option for you, but others are going through their unique journey.
As per their paths, the belief system and lifestyles that they have arrived at are equally important for them to evolve. Diversity is the innate nature of nature. Everyone will have to traverse through their diverse course, even though their options might seem unmindful to you.
Reality Check
There is no escape from so-called stupidity. Wherever you go, you will find unmindfulness and self-centred humans. Even if you decide to leave worldly matters and live an ascetic life as a monk in a remote location, you still have to encounter people with different views and opinions.
You have to accept the reality of the diversity of nature. At no point in time was there complete uniformity, and nowhere in future will there be uniformity.
In a forest, countless varieties of flora and fauna live in harmony. Of course, they have territorial conflicts, prey on others for survival, but they don’t suffer because of mental conflicts owing to diverse lifestyles and views.
Mutual hatred for being diverse is the mind’s mischievous tendency to create division. Because of its limitations, it likes to divide people. Throughout history, these divisive imaginations have resulted in numerous wars and have brought suffering to beings in various atrocious forms, like slavery, apartheid, and so on.
Being mindful of your mind’s mischievous tendencies and keeping things real, aligning it to the right view, is essential in overcoming the sufferings it brings with it.
The Right Intention
Conflicts are natural. As you tread in your spiritual ascension, the fight between so-called good (mindfulness, compassion) and so-called evil (anger, hatred) is supposed to become stronger. Without challenges, how do you expect to grow? If there are no obstacles, then be assured that you are stagnant.
Years and maybe lifetimes of conditioning have laid a strong foundation in your mind. It is natural for it to react when it is being shaken.
Cultivating the right intention pours in tremendous support to your mindful and compassionate side. Your strength gets bolstered in handling the conflicts against aversion.
Unconditional love is the ultimate state to which every spiritual aspirant, irrespective of the path, is destined. Slowly, as you ascend, all conditions dissolve. At that stage, all of us have to drop the individuality to become pure love.
The intention not to yield to the mind’s limiting, divisive thoughts is the correct intention. To become selfless and be useful for others, irrespective of their views and lifestyles, is the right intention.
The Right Effort
Despite the right view and the intention, without the right efforts, overcoming the conflicts is difficult. Actions are essential to bring about results in every field of life, so how can one expect transformation of something so complex, i.e. the mind, without effort?
It is a continuous learning process, where the mind is made conscious of its activities. Through mindfulness practices of observing the body sensations, breath patterns, journaling, and meditation, the mind becomes aware of its inner functioning.
The awareness built during these efforts automatically feeds into the mind, thus correcting its patterns slowly.
The most effective effort is to undertake selfless service. Volunteering, serving distressed people and animals, donating, etc., are excellent ways to hush the villain mind.
Whenever the mind begins to chatter, employ yourself in helping others. In the mind, you may have hard feelings for another person owing to their mentality, but make use of your body to support them in their life, either by preparing some food or lending a hand in their activities and so on.
Protecting Yourself
All these techniques will certainly help you overcome the sufferings, but you have to protect yourself while you gradually work on your mental state. If you are in a condition where the reactions are fierce, and you can’t help but indulge in self-destructive behaviours like anger bursts, addiction, physical fights and so on, then it is wise to get out of there immediately. First, you have to help yourself before helping others.
Additionally, you have to mindfully draw boundaries, so that your self-work is not thrown to waste. While growing, a sapling needs a boundary from grazing animals. Similarly, you should intelligently safeguard yourself while still being compassionate.
Taking thoughtful retreats and spending some solo time is a great way to reflect on yourself and measure your progress. It rejuvenates you and brings new insights for thoughtful actions that can propel you on a fast track of healing yourself and others around you.
This article is also published here.
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